Probably the most impressive thing I’ve ever written:
Brothers,
As many of you may have noticed, at some point this afternoon several doors
within the house went missing. Fortunately, they were discovered unharmed in
Thalmann’s… in the room at the end of the hall. Truly this is a prank for
the ages, and the legendary pranking prowess of the perpetrators will only
be magnified as its story is told and retold by generations of Taus. Should
the parties responsible for this prank, the intellect and wit of whom mere
words are inadequate to describe, deign once more to grace my doorway with
their presence and return my door to it’s rightful place within its jamb, I
can offer you my undying gratitude and admiration, lacking though those
meager rewards may be to men of your stature.
There is, however, another issue on which I cannot be so lenient. As those
mysterious, revered, and nigh immortal beings at whose feet we lay our
effusive but meager praise for a job well done are no doubt aware, attached
to my humble door, which I am not worthy of opening when compared to the
true gods among men who removed it from its hinges, was a small, utterly
insignificant plastic placard intended to convey the spirits of its
occupant, videlicet yours truly. Although a trifle and surely worthy of
reproach from titans of humor such as yourselves, it has brought me much joy
in the months it has graced my dwelling. Should it be even remotely within
the extraordinary means of you fine examples of humanity to return, I would
once more be eternally in your debt.
Yours most lovingly and respectfully,
Sean Terrill
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