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Things I Hate #77: Family Guy

I’m not a big TV watcher, so I tend not to follow shows regularly for long: eventually I just sort of lose interest, gradually, over a few weeks or months or in between seasons. So it’s a new experience for me to be able to pinpoint the exact moment when I decided I would never watch a show again. In this case, it’s Family Guy episode 6ACX14, at 05:57, when I realized they were going to bring back one of the most annoying, least funny jokes of all time. Unfortunately, you have to have seen several episodes of Family Guy to know what I mean.

The past season or two, I’ve taken to watching Family Guy with a stopwatch, timing how much of the episode relates to the central plot and any subplots. They average about 7 minutes, or 30%. This episode sets a new low, however: 4:47. 22%. You can make a case that the side-jokes are the best part of Family Guy. Four or five years ago, I would have too. But that logic only applies if the side-jokes are funny.

Look, I know people still watch Family Guy, in the same way you can’t look away from a car accident. The problem is, the company that causes the car accidents knows you’re looking, and so they’re going to keep wrecking cars. The show used to be frankly, unabashedly hilarious, but I’ve seen snuff films funnier than this season of Family Guy.

Fuck you, Family Guy.

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