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Things I Hate #2: Kanye West

I watched the Fishsticks episode of South Park today, and felt like maybe I was missing something. Is there some reason Kanye West wouldn’t understand a simple joke? I didn’t actually know anything about him except for the Hurricane Katrina thing. Is he notoriously stupid, notoriously bad with wordplay, or just a notorious douche?

Turns out it’s the douche one.

Not that that was easy to find out. His wikipedia entry is almost entirely biographical and lacking in information on Kanye’s douche status. That’s something that should be implemented in the celebrity statistics sidebar, right under birth date and profession: a “Douche Status” field, with options ranging from “surprisingly non-douchey” to “irreconcilable douchebag”. Fortunately googling “kanye west is a douche” returns over 2000 results.

It isn’t that he’s a singer who doesn’t seem to be particularly good at singing, but has a clothing line and a label and a restaurant anyway. That’s your typical faux-lebrity stuff and is society’s problem, not Kanye’s. But the man has actually said, out loud, and on camera that he thinks he’s “the voice of this generation”. I’m six years younger than him, so I’m pretty sure he’s talking about my generation too. Kanye, I’ve only been reading about you online for about 10 minutes, and already I sincerely hope that I never hear your voice in my life. It is not the voice of a generation, it’s the voice of a douche. As far as douchebags go, yours is so large that it could comfortably hold the contents of several other, previously thought to be large, douchebags. You should change your name to Ozydouchias, King of Douches.

And if that weren’t enough, when he lost a European music video award, he went on stage, seemingly for the sole purpose of making himself look shallow and insecure:

I mean, everyone’s a sore loser sometimes, but Kanye West has so much sand in his vagina that when he queefs it blows tuna-scented glass.

Fuck you, Kanye West.

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