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Things I Hate #87: Mamma Mia!

I just saw Mamma Mia!.

Maybe if you punch me in the balls I'll wake up and still be James Bond.

Wow. First of all, Pierce Brosnan should not sing. Ever. None of the main characters, with the exception of Meryl Streep, is even mediocre (they average about three lines per song before background singers [...]

Apropos of Nothing…

Alan Alda’s name is 50% a’s. (And 25% l’s!)

Obama Get Your Gun

So I’m on a months-long waiting list for my evil black rifle. Apparently since November supplies of weapons and ammunition have been severely outpaced by demand. There are myriad factors at play, of course: global metal prices; military demand; corporate greed. But most of it is good old-fashioned suburban white fear. Once the scary black [...]

The Moscow Rules, Part 1

This is Chapter 1 of a ten-part novella.

The Moscow Rules

1: Assume nothing.

     ”Back in the USSR” had been stuck in Nicholas Schmidt’s head since about forty-five seconds after takeoff. It was, he supposed, inevitable, albeit not particularly accurate. But “Back in the CSSR” probably wouldn’t fit the chorus as well, he mused while [...]

Gerbils

I found what has to be the first digital video I ever shot. If I recall correctly this was using one of those little spherical Apple “webcams”. Also, remember the little grey microphone with the hook so that it would stay on the front of your CRT? The one that got them sued by Apple [...]

New Mexico Photos

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Party On

I’m in New Mexico through next week. Be truly excellent to one another while I’m gone.