I think I’ve uncovered possibly the most far-reaching conspiracy of our time.
Alan Alda: his name is 50% A’s.Canada: ALSO 50% A’s.
Do you know what this MEANS man?! Alan Alda is a secret Canadian who is infiltrating all levels of our fictional political and military establishments. He’s already crept into our fictional military via M*A*S*H. He’s in our fictional legislatures as a senator in The Aviator AND as a senator who ran for president in The West Wing. He was the make-believe National Security Advisor in Murder at 1600. And most damningly, and perhaps devastatingly, he WAS the President in Canadian Bacon.
How could I not have seen it! Alan Alda and his cabal of secret Canadians are going to infiltrate our fictional governments and replace our precious, precious, cured, smoked, pork belly bacon, with their vile, twisted Canadian BACK bacon!
Dear sweet Lord, breakfast as we know it will NEVER be the same!
I <3 this sooo much.
We must take up arms against the secret Canadians who are plotting against America using the most important pillars of our culture: our fictitious institutions and/or our actual institutions as portrayed in film and television.
Let the battle cry ring throughout the land
“Save our Bacon!”