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The Anderson County Redemption

In honor of my recent stint as a guest of East Tennessee’s finest, today’s blog entry will be written by “The Shawshank Redemption” narrator Morgan Freeman.

Strange things happen to a man when he staggers down a hallway at three in the morning, bleeding and damn near naked, and unexpectedly encounters an officer of the [...]


Today FedEx brought me a new 7.1 MP digital camera and 1 GB SD card, and a 16x DVD burner.

I am so fsckin’ 1337.

Sittin’ on the Ladder

A public service announcement to women everywhere: my Y chromosome has rendered me immune to conversational subtlety. If you’ve spent three hours telling me how much you don’t like your boyfriend/fiancĂ©/husband, I will conclude that you do not, in fact, like him and are telling me as much to indicate that the way is clear [...]

Spice died.

Things that make you go “yum”

I was just struck by the fact that although I have all the ingredients to make French toast (I’m pretty sure it’s just eggs and bread), and I like French toast, I’ve never actually made French toast.

Then I thought that there might be other ingredients and I wasn’t really sure if you were supposed [...]


I could have gotten laid tonight.

But did I? Of course not. And why? Because she’s engaged, and I’m a nice guy, and nice guys really do finish last. If you’re 12 years old and you’re reading this, you give that shit up right now. Women are not your friends. They don’t even particularly like [...]

Free Song

If you have iTunes, click this link:

If you don’t have iTunes, download it and then click the link.

An Open Letter to Tennessee Motorists

I really am going to try to post stuff regularly from now on.

Anyway, last weekend I went to visit Yuri at Chapel Hill, which is amazing. If they had an engineering program it would be paradise. I’m hoping that’s why I’ve been so tired all week. I can barely drag myself out of bed [...]

Revenge of the Sith: A Plot Summary

I saw Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith yesterday, and figured I’d share my pain.

ANAKIN: Hello, I am Hayden… I mean, Anakin Skywalker. I’m sorry that your boyfriend dragged you to this movie, but look how pretty my hair is. In about an hour there will be some awkward romantic dialogue, so [...]

Workin’ for the Man

If you’ve ever had a job, you’ve probably noticed that your employer likes to segregate your time into Work, which, according to my boss, is defined as “whatever the hell I tell you to do,” and Not Work, somewhat more loosely defined to be things you can do while drinking beer.

My current job is [...]