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Things I Hate #87: Mamma Mia!

I just saw Mamma Mia!.

Maybe if you punch me in the balls I'll wake up and still be James Bond.

Wow. First of all, Pierce Brosnan should not sing. Ever. None of the main characters, with the exception of Meryl Streep, is even mediocre (they average about three lines per song before background singers [...]

The Horror

Somehow, I don’t think they meant “you are right to continue…”

You’re doing it wrong.

Things I Hate #2: Kanye West

I watched the Fishsticks episode of South Park today, and felt like maybe I was missing something. Is there some reason Kanye West wouldn’t understand a simple joke? I didn’t actually know anything about him except for the Hurricane Katrina thing. Is he notoriously stupid, notoriously bad with wordplay, or just a notorious douche?

Turns [...]

Budweiser is Delicious

The King of… well, cheap beers, anyway

The only upside of my shockingly delayed flight to New York (I could have driven there faster) was that the nice man flying the plane bought us all drinks. The beer options were Budweiser, and Miller Lite. As far as I can tell, Miller Lite tastes better [...]

Things I Hate #3: Units vs. Quantities

Sort of continuing the theme that the Internet is making everyone dumber, here are a couple gems from the Northern Brewer forums:

Fermenting Degrees?

Ok…my keg and CO2 tank have been in the fridge since last night and when I woke up this morning the PSI was around 425 with my fridge around 29 degrees.

[...]

Things I Hate #77: Family Guy

I’m not a big TV watcher, so I tend not to follow shows regularly for long: eventually I just sort of lose interest, gradually, over a few weeks or months or in between seasons. So it’s a new experience for me to be able to pinpoint the exact moment when I decided I would never [...]

Is the Internet Killing the Written Word?

Yuri turned me on to this band Emanuel and The Fear. (Caution – MySpace link) Apparently his roommate Jeff plays with them, and I have to say they are unabashedly kick-ass. Sort of a Polyphonic Spree meets John Mayer thing, but then again what do I know about music?

Anyway, they have a track called [...]

“Change of Equipment”: BROKEN PLANE

If a plane leaves Boston at 6:15 with broken landing gear, and the replacement part leaves Detroit at 11:00, what is the probability that I’ll make my 37-minute layover in Cincinnati?

Tedium

I sketched this in draft form on the back of my canceled boarding pass in Indianapolis, as sort of a nod to [...]

Things I Hate #12: Round-Up “Tipping”

In almost two years of working as a pizza “delivery expert”, I’ve probably seen every conceivable tip amount within reason; in fact Sunday I got a personal-best tip of $25. Granted, that was a $238 order, but you’d be surprised how many people think $2-3 is a good tip, no matter how large the order. [...]

Things I Hate #131: Kid Rock

As if being a pizza delivery driver wasn’t a shitty enough job, now every couple hours I have to get excited by the opening bars of “Sweet Home Alabama”, only to have to listen to Kid Rock’s pretentious ass. (That’s right: giving yourself a stage name makes you pretentious by definition. Deal with it.) It’s [...]